cant draw michael™
Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.
“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.
I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.
What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?
I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’
But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]
[camera zooms in on glasses]
[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”
This should win an Oscar
While cleaning your attic, you find a box of glass balls with names on them. You accidentally drop one, and as soon as it shatters, a person appears.
“Dude,” your brother said as he opened the door to the attic. “Stop breaking stuff.”
I love these clever subversions of fantasy writing prompts to give them an mundane punchline.
They give me life.
whoever put a hex on me..please stop
my facebook feed is 90% florida memes, 10% clown jokes
The new Pokemon Games look fantastic.
